Fears and insecurities when considering using a Donor-Egg Pathway.
But am I the ‘real’ Mum?
As a Fertility Coach specialising in supporting women considering a donor-egg pathway, I’ve heard this question voiced by many women.
This often links in with the fear of ‘will I bond with my donor conceived baby?’.
Does this one donated cell have the power to stop you feeling like the mum of your child?
The simple answer is no.
You are the Mum/Mom/Mama and will be forever more.
I’m an English Mum living in Sydney so the spelling ‘Mum’ works for me.
Your blood, your nutrients, your body chemistry, your womb has nourished and help to build your baby.
You gave birth to your donor-egg conceived child.
Your eyes are the first eyes that they met, the first skin that they touched, the first smell they inhaled.
You nurse, feed and care for your baby 24/7 in those newborn days and beyond.
YOU are everything to your child.
YOU are Mum/Mom/Mama.
Nobody else is or could be. You longed for this child for so many years, and this is where your bond began.
This child has had a place in your heart for such a long time.
Whilst as a recipient of that precious egg your heart is filled to the brim with gratitude to your Egg-Donor.
Everyone’s relationship with their Egg-Donor is different.
You may have chosen the pathway of a Known Donor, an Open Donor, or an Anonymous Donor or something in between.
Whatever that is, YOU will always be first and foremost MUM.
And if one day your child decides to nurture a relationship with their donor you will still always be MUM.
It helps me to think about my family as an open kitchen family table, with chairs for everyone that is invited to sit at, and be part of the love that is family.
This doesn’t take away the fact that you are Mum to your child.
Let’s face it, these days, families are created in so many different ways.
There are many types of Mums out there in the world.
All ‘Mums’, whether genetically related to their child or not, have the bond of love, and the title of Mum which is earned through care, unconditional love and generally quite a bit of sacrifice.
I hope this helps to eliminate any fears about not feeling like you are the ‘real’ Mum of your Donor-Egg conceived child.
Sending love to you in this moment and please feel free to reach out if I can help in any way.
Written by Adele O’Connor
I’d love you to join my supportive and nurturing facebook group Donor Egg IVF Emotions Support.
A group for intended parents to lift one another up and share reflections and insights whilst on a Donor-Egg IVF journey.
Who am I? I’m a down to earth english gal and nurturing soul living in Sydney.
Proud Donor-Egg Mama and IVF Warrior
My difficult journey led me to want to help you with yours.
I offer 1:1 Donor Egg Support Coaching Programs via zoom world wide
Follow me on instagram for more tips and strategies to help you on your journey
@thedonoreggcoach
