When negative thoughts get in the way.
Here’s a sneak peak into some of the panicky thoughts running through my head when I was in the thick of my donor-egg journey.
Yep my hubby caught me in full worry mode one day during our donor egg cycle in Cape Town back in 2016.
“What if Donor Egg IVF doesnt work?”
“I can barely afford the costs of IVF, what if it doesn’t work?”
“What if my child bares no resemblance to me or my husband, will my child feel like they belong in our family?”
“What if even with donor eggs there’s still no embryo to transfer?”
“What if my future child hates me because of his/her conception story when he/she’s older?”
“What if I can’t bond with my baby?”
“Am I the real mum?”
“What if my child wants to connect with donor siblings or their donor one day?”
So many fears and questions in my mind and nobody had any answers or reassurance for me.
(A sneak peak inside my head when I was considering my Donor-Egg pathway)
Look out for my blog written by my present self to my past self answering these questions.
I will answer these questions from my present self back to my ‘anxious annie’ head space in a separate post.
What I really want to know is what anxious thoughts are plaguing your mind?
What worry loop is playing over and over in your head?
Take notice of the negative thoughts running through your mind.
It can be really helpful to write them down.
I don’t know about you but I find brain dumps help to clear your mind instantly.
Worry thoughts can lose their power when written down, because we can better analyze them.
What are the feelings that are coming up for you around these thoughts?
What messages are your anxious thoughts trying to tell you?
I’ve only just learnt that there’s so much wisdom in our feelings.
It made the world of difference to realise that those difficult feelings of sadness, fear, anger and shame are trying to guide you towards an empowering action.
Don’t be like old me, don’t squash them down with bars and bars and bars of chocolate, distract with hours of ‘Bonkerton’ on netflix or just force a positivity plaster all over those precious feelings.
Believe you me, I found out the hard way that none of the above coping mechanisms will help you in the long term.
They just cause our feelings to fester, stew and linger.
And worse our subconscious brain translates these stressy feelings as real perceived danger in the physical body and you don’t need me to tell you, this does you absolutely no good especially when you’re trying to conceive.
So what to do???
I know it sounds boring and yes it could mean a few boxes of kleenex as a sacrifice, however actually breathing into and acknowledging your feelings, thanking your feelings for showing up, and listening to your inner guidance helps to truly process your feelings.
Your feelings just want to guide you towards a small and simple action step that you can take today, that will help you to feel empowered.
What do you think that might be for you?
Let me know how you get on 🙂
Written by Adele O’Connor
I’d love you to join my supportive and nurturing facebook group Donor Egg IVF Emotions Support.
A group to for intended parents to lift one another up and share reflections and insights whilst on a Donor-Egg IVF journey.
Down to earth english gal and nurturing soul living in Sydney.
Proud Donor-Egg mama and IVF Warrior
I offer 1:1 Fertility Coaching Programs via zoom world wide
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