A brief guide to the donor-egg process
It took me 2 years to choose my egg-donor.
I went round and round in circles due to being in complete emotional overwhelm.
Now that I’m a very happy and proud donor egg mama, my goal is to help determined women considering a donor-egg pathway to feel clear and confident on their journey to create the family of their dreams.
Your child’s conception story
How do you feel about disclosing your child’s conception story to your child, family and friends?
You may want to conduct your own research about this in your country of residence. Here’s some good information from Australia on this subject.
This subject can bring up a whole gamut of emotions. Please get in touch if you need help with emotional overwhelm at any stage of this journey.
Considerations when choosing a Clinic
Do they offer a donor egg program?
Are they affiliated with specific egg-donor clinics?
What are the healthy pregnancy stats?
Do they offer any guarantees?
What are the donor options available to you in your country of residence? Open, anonymous donors?
Egg Donor Counseling
In Australia it’s a requirement for IVF clinics running egg-donor programs that you have some counseling to explore how you feel about telling your future child about their egg donor conception story.
I’m not sure what the requirements are in the US. It’s a great idea to speak to a professional about this and explore the subject from all angles.
Exploring Donor options
Known donor – do you know someone in your family, friendships or community who would be willing to donate their eggs to you?
Exploring a known donor, what’s important?
- Generally the younger the donor the better, the guidelines are to choose a donor aged between 21 and 35
- It’s advised that the egg donor has finished building their family
- Check any known medical issues
- Think about the relationship boundaries between you, your donor and the resulting child.
Anonymous donor – you are not privy to any identifiable information however you have a profile of information on the donor for you to make your choice.
Open – similar to that of the ‘known donor’ however there is no need for an existing relationship to be in place. An example of an open donor relationship might be when the donor and recipient agree to exchange details and identifiable information but have a relaxed approach to formally meeting. Any such meeting would not be seen as imperative for the relationship to work.
Mixed Anonymity – an arrangement where a limited amount of information is shared between parties and could involve an intermediary like a lawyer. This type of relationship may be flexible to allow the possibility of greater contact between donor and recipient or donor and child at any time in the future.
Considerations when selecting your egg donor
What’s important to you?
Remember not to get too hung up on the donor looking exactly like you as your donor may look exactly like your partner/husband (if using your partner’s sperm).
- Ethnic background
- Educational background
- Previous donor status
- The donor’s location
- Height and weight
- Eye color
- Hair color
Check before you get too attached – Is your donor available, in cycle or reserved?
Should you use a ’First time’ or ‘Proven Egg Donor’?
There are pros and cons to both these options.
Proven Donor
The main advantages of choosing a proven donor are based on the donor’s experience; she has already completed a cycle so she knows what to expect and her body has already proven to respond well to the cycle medications and egg retrieval.
Proven egg donors tend to request higher compensation than first-time egg donors.
Proven egg donors may be coming close to the maximum amount of times that they are able to cycle.
One thing to bear in mind in case you may need to go back to the same donor for a sibling if you don’t have any embryos left over. Check how many times they have donated and what the max amount of cycles are legally (this differs country to country)
First Time Donor
Flexibility in Scheduling and/or No Waiting Time
Since proven egg donors are often in high demand, it’s not uncommon for intended parent(s) to have to wait for their chosen proven donor to cycle.
It is important to note that there are not as many proven egg donors available and oftentimes these donors are matched for a subsequent cycle while they are still in a cycle.
First-time egg donors generally have lower compensation than proven egg donors. This means the overall cycle costs will be less expensive when using a first-time egg donor.
Most first-time donors are eager to get started and willing to accommodate the cycle schedule that works best for you.
By including first-time egg donors in your selection process, you are broadening your search and therefore increasing the chances of finding a match that meets your most important criteria.
FAQ’s
What are my chances of conceiving?
This depends so much case by case. However if you are using a donor egg that’s from a young woman between ages 21-35 your chances of conceiving are dramatically increased.
How many times should I attempt this?
My personal advice is to plan to have three cycles and review after that.
How long does it take once I choose my egg donor?
Once you have selected your donor you can expect transfer within approx 3 months. Yes that means that within 4 months you could be pregnant.
Is traveling overseas an option for you?
Donor egg IVF is very popular in Europe, particularly Spain, Greece, Cyprus and Czech Republic. As well as South Africa, Hawaii and the US. Main reasons that people travel overseas is that it’s more affordable and a greater selection of egg donors than their country of residence. Check out this web page for more info.
Will I bond with my baby?
Yes 100% you already are bonding with your future baby during your fertility journey and throughout your pregnancy this will get stronger and stronger.
Written by Adele O’Connor @thedonoreggcoach
Down to earth english gal and nurturing soul living in Sydney.
Proud Donor-Egg mama and IVF Warrior
My difficult journey led me to want to help you with yours.
I offer 1:1 Fertility Coaching Programs via zoom world wide
